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Review
by
Brian Lindsey
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3
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5 |
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10
= Highest
Rating
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Yet
another early '80s clunker from Lucio Fulci.
I'm still trying to fathom why Fulci has
garnered such a devoted cult following. As of this writing I've
seen five of his films: Don't Torture
a Duckling, Zombie, City
of the Living Dead, and The
Beyond in addition to this one.
Duckling is easily the best of the bunch, and it's a
giallo not a zombie or
revenant in sight, with no supernatural elements present in
the story. The Beyond, often touted
as Fulci's masterpiece, was merely okay. (See EC's Short
Takes section for a capsule review.) It seems that the late
Italian director was simply incapable of making a quality monster
movie. A shame, too, because House By
the Cemetery has all the necessary ingredients.
New York-based psychiatric researcher Dr.
Norman Boyle (Paolo Malco) has been assigned to follow up on
the work of one Dr. Peterson, a colleague who took a sabbatical
to the small town of New Whitby, Massachusetts to study the
history of suicides in the area. In the midst of his research
Peterson wigged out and slaughtered his mistress Sheila (Daniela
Doria, who gets a knife through the head in the film's prologue)
before hanging himself. Boyle, far from resigned to what could
be a grim task, prefers to look at his impending stay in New
England as a family vacation in the country. He's taking his
wife Lucy (Fulci regular Catriona MacColl) and 6-year old son
Bob (Giovanni Frezza) with him. Weird things, however, are occurring
even before the Boyles set out. In a photograph of an old house
adorning the family's apartment, Bob sees a young girl in the
window whom he claims talks to him, telling him "not to go".
No one else can see the girl's image in the photo, chalking
it up to Bob's fertile imagination. When the family arrives
in New Whitby, Bob sees the same girl standing across the street
as his parents talk with the real estate agent. Telepathically
the two children communicate, with the girl explaining that
her name is May and again warning Bob to stay out of the house.
As "luck" would have it, the Boyles end up
renting the same rambling, ramshackle house outside of town
that Peterson leased during his ill-fated stay. It also happens
to be the same house as the one in the photo, located right
next to an abandoned cemetery. Though she can't pinpoint exactly
why, Lucy immediately
begins to feel uneasy about it. A boarded-up cellar door, strange
noises within the house and its creepy environs only heighten
her discomfort, which Norman mostly dismisses. The family settles
in, hiring an odd-behaving babysitter, Ann (Tenebre's
Ania Pieroni, looking quite frumpy here amazing what a little
eyebrow tweezing can do!), to help look after Bob. The boy,
in the meantime, has found a playmate in May, the little girl
who mysteriously appears from time to time and no else has seen.
Following up Peterson's notes, Norman learns
that his predecessor had abruptly dropped his line of inquiry
to focus solely on a Dr. Freudstein, a local physician who died
over a century earlier. Freudstein lost his medical license
and was questioned by police for conducting "illegal" experiments.
Norman can't fathom
why Peterson would abandon his research to focus on this unrelated
case. Later it's discovered that the house Peterson rented
the very house they're staying in now
was owned by Freudstein in the 19th Century. After Ann (for
some unexplained reason) removes the boards from the cellar
door and the key is found, Norman explores the basement only
to be attacked by a bat, which he kills in extremely bloody
fashion after being bitten on the hand. With that little incident
the Boyles decide they need a change of environment ASAP. They
go to the real estate office in town to arrange for a different
rental but their agent, Mrs. Gittleson (Dagmar Lassander), isn't
around. (She's dead, in fact, brutally killed with a fireplace
poker in the flick's best murder
sequence when she went to the
Freudstein house while the Boyle's were out.) Norman picks the
worst time possible to return to New York to follow up on Peterson's
notes and report to his superior. Lucy, Bob, and Ann are left
alone in the house. And there's something in the cellar...
In House By the Cemetery director
Fulci would seem to have a reliably solid spook show premise
to work from. There are some nicely-helmed, eerily atmospheric
tracking shots of the house both within and without which
ably set the mood. (Blatantly ripping off the "glowing eyes"
bit from Argento's Suspiria at one
point.) Typically, though, Fulci throws it all away with nonsensical
story elements, continuity problems and a fetish for cheesy
makeup effects:
The
tale is clearly steeped in the supernatural (the storyline involving
the ghost child May), yet a half-ass "scientific" explanation
for the monster is tossed out almost as an afterthought. Huh?
What was the deal with Ann the nanny? She behaves bizarrely,
leading the viewer to believe she's somehow in league with evil
forces within the Freudstein house. Is she possessed? If so,
by what? It's also hinted that she shares a secret with Norman,
possibly an affair. These plot threads are never explained or
explored.
When Norman talks with the town librarian about Peterson, the
man recalls Norman from a prior meeting, when the researcher
visited New Whitby the previous year with his daughter. Norman
explains that this is impossible as he's never been to New Whitby
before and has a son, not a little girl. This cryptic bit of
dialog is never followed up on.
Ann is killed in a particularly nasty way her throat is slowly
and repeatedly slashed with a knife until she's decapitated.
What starts as a horrifically shocking and effective scene is
utterly ruined when Fulci's camera closes in to lovingly document
every little slice of the blade. Shown too close, with too much
lighting, one can also see every little seam and ripple in the
fake neck appliance worn by the actress. This badly botched
scene is emblematic of the chief shortcoming inherent in Fulci's
horror flicks: More is not always better, Lucio.
Ann's gruesome slaying occurs at the top of the cellar stairs.
A lot of blood is spilled. Only moments later not a drop of
it remains, so that the other characters don't realize Ann's
been killed. (I know the ads claim Bounty is the "quicker picker-upper",
but this is ridiculous!)
Characters make the same stupid mistake of getting accidentally
locked in the cellar... over and over again.
To these blunders add one of the most gratingly annoying
child actors to ever appear on screen: tow-headed Frezza as
little Bob. It's not totally the kids fault, either... The
dubbed voice used for his character quickly becomes akin to
nails on a chalkboard youll hope against hope that Bob will
be one of the first to get whacked. And hope in vain. (The kid
sticks around to the film's conclusion and has lots of dialog.)
Showing this flick and Star Wars Episode
I: The Phantom Menace as a double feature might convince
anyone of childbearing age to get sterilized. For Fulci freaks
only.
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pain and suffering I endured sitting through yet another Fulci-conducted
train wreck was tempered by the fact that this is a budget DVD
release from Diamond costing only four bucks. Surprisingly for
such a cheap disc, picture quality is pretty good. (It's letterboxed,
too.) Audio, while scratchy and slightly muffled at times, is
adequate. The 84-minute film is divided into just 4 chapters...
A trait of all Diamond DVDs, apparently (Anchor Bay's The
Beyond features an astounding 53!) The
only extra is a very sketchy two-paragraph bio on Fulci, which
reveals nothing really about the director or the featured film.
Still, for five bucks... 5/14/01 |
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UPDATE
Blue Underground is slated to release its edition of HBTC
in April 2007.
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